What, me lonely?

Loneliness is part of a happily single life.

The title comes from this famous Alfred E. Neuman quote (for those old enough to remember). • Image: memes.ucoz.com]

You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.
—Dr. Wayne Dyer

You’re single. You love it. As happy as you might be with the daily routine of your solo life and the ability to do whatever you want, whenever you want, there may come a time when you long for companionship.

You may even begin to question the very nature of your solitary life. If left unchecked, the longing and questioning can turn to brooding. That downward spiral of loneliness has an internal dialogue that might sound a little like this:

You: Why am I alone, anyway?

Also You: Because you want to be.

You: Really? Did I choose this life, or is it that no one wants to be around me for very long?

Also You: Don’t be silly. Here, have a donut.

You: I don’t need sugary carbs, I need an answer.

Also You: [sigh] Well, you are a little set in your ways, but you’re a very decent and loving person.

You: You have to say that; you’re me.

Also You: Very true, oh, wise one.

You: Seriously. Is there something wrong with me? Why does every romantic relationship I have end disastrously? Will I end up dying alone and unloved?

Et cetera, et cetera...

There are many reasons why your romantic relationships may not turn out well, so let’s not dwell on that. (I’m here for you if you need me, though.)

As for dying alone? Here’s a newsflash: We all die alone. Married people, well-loved people, people with oodles of best buddies—death is a natural journey that we all make as individuals. You don’t get to bring anyone along with you. But you don’t have to die unloved. In fact, spending a life alone doesn’t mean remaining isolated.

The truly honored Highest Self knows it must balance the restorative properties it receives from time alone to help cultivate loving relationships with friends and family.

Loneliness is a state of mind. It usually creeps up on us when we’ve had a particularly bad day (or week, or month) and feel defeated.

Here’s something that will make you feel better: Loneliness may be a sign that you’ve done an excellent job honoring your Holy Self.
Your soul’s batteries are now well charged, and it’s time to go out and socialize.

Take your goodness out into the world. • Photo by Joel Muniz on Unsplash

What if no one you know is around or free to play with you? Go out anyway. Here are a few things you can do to combat loneliness:

• Volunteer...anywhere. Soup kitchen, YMCA, after-school programs for kids, etc.

• Go to a poetry reading or book signing at your local bookstore.

• Go to the gym and work your loneliness off in a group class.

• Take a course in something you’ve always wanted to learn at your community center.

Here’s what not to do if you’re feeling lonely:

• Think about how lonely you are.

• Ask yourself why no one wants to be with you.

• Eat a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Mud Pie ice cream while staring blankly at the refrigerator door magnets.

I’ll illustrate the power of changing your inner and outer landscape by sharing a personal loneliness experience. I was in my thirties and in the thick of the New York City dating scene—