When Your Spiritual Practice Isn't Enough
It may be because it's not yours.
You’ve chanted, juiced, meditated, and shavasana-ed your path toward happiness and oneness with the universe. It’s a good start, but something still isn’t working. You still feel drained. Full of self-doubt. And despite knowing that we are all spirits having a human experience and we are all interconnected, you still get pissed at your mom (brother, partner, the idiot who cut you off in traffic). It may seem like the deep dive you’ve taken into your spiritual life has led you nowhere. So what’s the point?
Take a breath. A real one, not yogic breath filled with intention. Just a good old, in-out breath. Great. Now let’s have a look at some of the most common obstacles on the path to living a more spiritual and centered life.
Wanting
Chances are you have daily mindfulness rituals like yoga and meditation and breathwork. You’re proud of that effort. A part of you—that tiny little child within—wants acknowledgment of your dedication. It’s not easy to commit to 6 a.m. meditation when it’s so much easier to stay in bed a while longer! As you get stuck in the desire for recognition (from whom?), the magic of your spiritual practice quite unconsciously drains away.
Placing the blame elsewhere
This looks like buying into the belief that it’s the wrong time to live a spiritual life. Perhaps your dead-end job tethers you to the asinine grind, and you can’t transcend it. Maybe there’s a difficult partner who thinks spirituality is bunk. Or you’re stuck in childhood wounding, still believing the dysfunctional messages you were fed about about who you are. Here’s what that might sound like: “My parents were harsh on me, so I learned to be harsh on myself.” That translates to: “It’s not the right time to be spiritual; I’m too fucked up.”
In truth, we need our spiritual practice precisely when our lives are convoluted and decidedly imperfect.
Dabbling
Dipping a toe in the water is not the way to do deep work. And, believe me, if you want to be an authentically vibrant human being, you have to get messy.
Bopping about from one spiritual practice or healing modality to another will make you feel fulfilled in the short term, just like the giddiness of having a crush on someone who thinks you’re pretty awesome yourself. But soon, when the work gets hard, you’ll need to chase that dragon of fresh new promise and potential again, never really going to the core and cleaning house of all the obstacles that keep you from living as your highest self.
Playing the hero
In this age of self-empowerment, many of us feel we should be the champions of our lives. If we can’t manage to do it ourselves then it’s probably not worth doing. Well, I hate say this, but that’s your ego talking. And ego is the thing that’s going to keep you from doing the in-depth work that you need to do on yourself. Ego’s going to tell you everything’s fine; you’re in control. Go deep, but not too deep (where the ego’s reign is threatened).
What ends up happening is that you burn out because you can’t do it entirely by yourself. No one can.
Know when to ask for additional assistance. Asking for guidance and support is not the death knell of your independence. A good helper (coach, counselor, mentor, therapist) will honor your intelligence and intuition about yourself. At one point in my life, I had five.
I find that my clients have the most difficulty changing when they cannot see the person they want to be clearly. We all need someone we can bounce off, someone who will reflect the lines we keep telling ourselves over and over again, the belief systems that no longer serve us.
We cannot play hero. We become heroes once we’ve done the deep psychospiritual work that allows us to see how our individual lives contribute to the greater pool of collective consciousness.
The Comparison Trap
Have you ever seen a seemingly enlightened person sharing their deep, soulful insights on social media? Maybe you thought, I’m nowhere near as wise as they are. I should do what they’re doing. And so you follow them on Instagram, sign up for (yet another) newsletter, join another webinar or summit on this or that path to spiritual awakening.
This is the danger of the comparison trap. Adopting someone else’s path is a surefire way to be led away from your own.
That’s not to say you shouldn’t find a teacher or guide you trust. But here's the thing: If that teacher or guide tells you their way is that the only way? Don’t walk away; run. Whip your shoes and socks off and stand barefoot under a tree. Reconnect with Spirit by finding your Self in it.
So, what now?
Let’s say you have a well-established spiritual practice, but it’s not serving you the way you want it to. You know there’s more you can offer the world, and you feel that truth flowing through you like a wild electric current, lighting up every chakra along its path.
Listen to that inner knowing. It’s telling you that radical changes are needed.
A solid way to start is by making a deep commitment to a personal psychospiritual practice. Your practice must be catered to your direct connection to Source because the magic comes through You, from You, and out into the world we all share. Your unique, connected presence contributes to collective consciousness.
There is no right way to find your connection to Source, to Spirit, to Great Mystery. The best way to reboot a tired practice is to listen to your deepest Self and follow its call.