Change is hard.

No. Really hard.

Change is hard.

Our intentions are good. We see areas of our lives that we want to improve, but it's a helluva thing to make the shift.

I mean, how is that even done?

Photo by Edward Howell on Unsplash

Know the issue.

What isn’t working? What part of your life is out of alignment?

Perhaps it’s your quick temper or your nasty self-talk. Maybe you’re saturated with social media and want to quit mindless scrolling. Or your people-pleasing tendencies make it hard to create boundaries with your chatty boss or your nosy mother. Could be you’re riddled with self-doubt and can’t move forward with a new creative venture. Or it’s a fear of failure. Or of success. Or of being seen.

Whatever it is, remember it’s your highest self that’s letting you know something isn’t right. Listen.

Don’t judge yourself.

Knowing what you want to change is a strength. Don’t kick your own ass for the gift of that awareness.

Move gently into an understanding of what is out of balance so you can do what needs to be done.

Consider the check engine light on your car's dashboard. If it goes on, do you judge the vehicle? Dump it on the side of the road because it is broken? Not likely; your car is worth more to you than that. You take it to the mechanic to see what needs to be done.

You are worth treating the same way. Even more so, obviously.

Make a plan.

Any or all of these are a good start:

• Reframe negative self-talk.

• Write in your journal. Talk to it like a best friend.

• Do shadow work.

• Begin a solitude practice.

• Spend time with people who love and support you.

• Practice the self-alignment meditation.

Repeat. With love.

Any lasting change takes time. You will fall off the Change Wagon. Get up, dust yourself off, and get back on there. Stick to your plan. Encourage—never judge—yourself as you do this incredibly vital work. You will get there.

When you make changes that bring you closer to your true self,
you are giving a gift to yourself and the world.

Ready to begin?

In tomorrow’s Write Your Self Open class, we’ll be working on preparing yourself to make a significant change in your life. Learn more about it here.
Drop-ins are always welcome.

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Subscribers: Here’s the part where I divulge one of my relatively embarrassing moments of awareness that led to lasting change.

When I was a thirty-something, single-woman-in-the-city, I had a revelation while standing in my apartment kitchen. I'd been pacing around, trying to figure out why my dating life was going so badly despite the five dating sites I was on. Despite my willingness to meet anyone who seemed halfway decent.

I knew something had to change, but first, I had to figure out what was out of alignment.

My comfort food, 2000-2007

So, there I was, clutching a bag of Boston's Lite Popcorn¹ (and pacing as mentioned above), when my hand froze on its way from the bag to my mouth. It hit me:

I don't like men.